In Bed With Cows (Hilarious tales from a travelling stockman)


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Who knew? Texas Longhorns in Australia - cool Townsville attraction

Bulletin Sydney 10 Aug. Of course, a bullock-pilot has to be outrageously made to use such awful language. Owens at www. Smith Letter from My Father When I finally shoved my cock into that cow-cunted bitch, I shot one hell of a wad. Maledicta IV:2 Winter The depucellated virgin […] becomes worthy of the denominations cow-cunted , bushel-cunted , sluice-cunted , double-cunted.

Nicholson Cockney Adventures 27 Jan. Burley Orig. Hbk of Harlem Jive. Advertiser 2 Oct.

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Dundee Courier I jan. Leeds Times 24 Feb. Pitsburgh Post PA 4 Apr. Inter-Ocean Chicago 17 Jan. Adams Co. Townsville Daily Bulletin 6 Nov. Smiley Hash House Lingo 7: Cow paste for butter. Algren Neon Wilderness A sallow-faced shrimp with spectacles [ Grose Classical Dict. Head Eng. Pagan Prince For not withstanding his Bulk, he was but Cow-hearted. Motteux trans. North Examen Lady Powis [ Waln Hermit in America on Visit to Phila. Picard Some Ups and Downs in N. A beast dealer. Pittsburgh Gaz. Holt Co. Sentinel MO 31 Oct. Ft Wayne Dly Gaz. Pottstown Mercury PA 29 Mar. It will go to the cow jockey.

Republic Columbia, IN 24 Feb. Blake letter 26 May in Joint The population of the 2-T wing is a heterogeneous collection of tractor drivers, cow jockeys, hog valets and chicken pluckers. What is that I behold? Spirit of the Times N. Matsell Vocabulum. Intelligencer Anderson, SC 12 Feb. Wilson, the milkman, while on his rounds distributing cow juice [ Bulletin Sydney 9 Aug. Sporting Times 18 Jan. Had reason to doubt the respectability of the morning cowjuice. Ooray, for the milkies! This wasted cow-juice soured us too.

Beckett Murphy They have been too generous with the cowjuice. Schulberg Harder They Fall Just the juice of the cow [ Opie Lore and Lang. Pelecanos Big Blowdown Hurry up with that cow juice. Lezard in Guardian G2 10 Mar. Norris McTeague Ah, one-horse dentist [ Berger Sneaky People Ralph walked through a cowpie. Lariat Mag. Mad mag. Morrill Dark Sea Running He was a large beefy man. He had been a fine cowpoke.

Stahl I, Fatty You hear about them cowpokes up in Wyoming? Times DC 9 Feb. Brownsville Herald TX 31 Aug. News Harrisburg, PA 22 Aug. Adams Cowboy Lingo The cowboy was known, too, by such slang names as [ Canting Crew. Bailey Universal Etym. Carew Life and Adventures. Andrewes Dict. Herald 4 Sept. A large straw hat for farmers. Winnipeg Trib. Oakland Trib. CA 30 Apr. Hotten Sl.

Trumble Sl. Lands Minister Tom Hassall, [t]he leading cow-shaker, cannot drop the slang of his old droving days. A swell. Root: noun sexual congress, a naughty, a leg-over. Root the hair on a barbershop floor: Aroused.

Travelling with my home on my back and in no hurry to get anywhere

Rubbity: Rubbitydub, pub. Rug up: Dress in your warmest rig. Sanger: Sandwich. Scorcher: A very hot day, or an event that exceeds normal limits. Seppo, Septic: American. Septic tank - Yank, Yankee northern or southern, we don't give a fuck. Settle petal: Calm down Precious. Shag on a rock like a : Figuratively isolated. Shandy: Half beer, half lemonade. Consumed by sheilas. Shank's pony: The motive force of pedestrianism.

Sheila: Woman. Shirty: Sniffy, miffed, displeased, narky, not happy Jan. Shit-kicker: A menial, a drudge, a gofer. Shot through like a Bondi tram : Departed expeditiously. Did the Harold. Shout: Purchase a round of drinks. Shrapnel: Coinage see what i did there? Sidies: Side levers, lice ladders, sideburns. Skiddie: Skid mark. Trace evidence of a blind mullet. It drinks like a fish and handles like a shopping trolley. Bloody Seppos wouldn't know a decent car if it parked on their foot.

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Snag: Variously a sausage, a glitch or a hidden hazard in a waterway. Snookered: Ran out of options. Sook: A whinger. Spare me days: Blimey! Prior to sunrise. Sparrer's guts: Asparagus. Spit the dummy, chuck the toys out of the cot. Chuck a wobbly. Have a hissy fit. Crack the shits. Do ya lolly.

In Bed With Sheep (Hilarious tales from a travelling stockman)

Splash the boots, unbutton the mutton: Pass water. Spray noun, verb : Abuse. Sport: Alternative to 'mate'. Good sport: A fair minded individual who's square an' all.

Heather Smith Thomas: February

Standouts like dog's balls: Something obvious. Stiffy: A rigid todger.

Stink eye: A dirty look. Stoked: Well pleased. Stone the crows: Blimey! Strides: Trousers. Stunned mullet a face like a : A surprised expression. Swag: Transportable possessions particularly sleeping kit - a matilda. Swaggie: Swagman. An itinerant, eulogised in our defacto national anthem Waltzing Matilda. Tasmanian tuxedo: An unpretentious and practical means of staying warm and dry in our southern-most state, it's a puffer jacket.

Tell your story walkin': Don't let the door hit you on the arse on your way out. On ya bike. Toey: On edge, antsy. Not to be confused with Towie - a tow-truck driver. Toorak tractor: A large, 4-wheel drive vehicle that will never see an unsealed road. Toot: Lav, dunny, thunderbox, throne, bog, twinkle palace, long drop. Tradies: Chippies and sparkies and brickies; someone "on the tools". Tradies breakfast: A sausage roll, a doughnut and a can of Coke purchased from a servo. Trots the : Diahorrea the squirts. Trough lolly: Disinfectant lozenge placed in urinals. Trousered the public coin: Paid out of our taxes.

Truckie's tan: A sunburnt right arm. Tuck shop: School canteen. Coffee is not often used in the Australian bush, the greater convenience of tea having made it much more popular. Living in the bush is not luxurious, and on many stations the unvarying round of tea, damper, and beef or mutton soon becomes monotonous.

These are the staples of food; vegetables of any kind are rarely seen; and as for pickles, jam, and the like, they are luxuries which only the prosperous can afford. Each station has from one to three or four stockmen, with as many black assistants; this force is sufficient for managing the cattle; and each station has its herd of horses, which are driven up every morning, as already described. The horses are in a paddock, or fenced pasture, but the cattle roam at large and are generally about half wild.

Some of the runs have boundary fences; but this is by no means the rule, and the consequence is that cattle of different owners are constantly mixed up and require separating. The stockmen and the black boys were riding constantly around the herd, to keep the animals from straying or breaking away; the cattle were moving restlessly about, the cows lowing for their missing calves, the bullocks indulging in an occasional fight, in which none of them was hurt, and the whole herd separating occasionally into little groups composed of those that had been accustomed to run together on the pastures.

The Boy Travellers in Australasia/Chapter 16

The camp was partially covered with a very thin forest of iron-bark trees, and the white, red, and roan colors of the animals made a very pretty contrast against the black tinge of the wood and the green of the grass. I may as well explain some of the terms used here, as they will doubtless seem strange in America. A herd consists of several or many mobs. The muster is exactly analogous to the American 'round-up.

Not infrequently drafting is called 'cutting out. The laws of the colony have been subject to a great deal of change in the last twenty years; the squatters feel that they have been unfairly treated, and we heard many stories of downright hardship. Sometimes there were only a few of us and in other places the group grew to just under motorhomes and campervans. You can probably imagine it was a lot of fun!

The aborigines have their Rainbow Serpent that travels across the land And it gathers tales and legends of inland seas and sand, And lofty mountain ranges and fertile camping places, And they tell the stories of its way in dance and painted faces. The Solos have their tagalong that travels across the land And it gathers tales and legends of their happy nomad band That met the Man from Snowy River and in Wagga Stoned the Crow And everywhere it travels, the stories tend to grow. I caught up with them at Wyalong out at the Poppet Head Mine Where they started their morning with yoga, and then danced in a line.

At Bogan Weir we dressed the part in our daggiest bogan wear, Then it was off to dusty Nakadoo and a wonderful campfire there. The camp was split in Lightning Ridge and our growing tribe was scattered But we made the most of the tourist sites and saw the ones that mattered. We camped along the Minor Ballone just out of Dirranbandi And discovered the showers at the truck stop, and boy, did they come in handy!

The bakery was popular, with vanilla slices and pies, The coffee was good and the jam drops were huge so we feasted with more than our eyes. Well, the word got passed on the bush telegraph of this mad solo crowd on the move So Wyandra planned a night on their town and the locals all got in the groove They bought in food and closed the road so we put on our dancing shoes But what the pub forgot to do was buy in more supplies of booze! Our travelling band was rolling along with Charleville our next port of call And a fancy dinner was held in the Bush Camp and more fun was had by all.

March 29, by The Snail Trail 7 Comments.


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Throughout February this year I followed the Silo Art Trail in Western Victoria, an adventure that had been on my bucket list for some time. These silos were painted by a Russian street artist Julia Volchkova and represent the youth of the area and their involvement in team sports. What else is there to see in the area? Next door to the campground there is the amazing Woods Museum. It was a grain storage facility until fairly recently and is the only one of its kind still standing in the world.

Happy Campers: I made myself comfortable in the great little campground at Rupanyup managed by the locals. It was dry and dusty as most of the country is at the moment, but was nestled on the banks of Dunmunkle Creek and only a short walk into town and to the silos.

There is also a dump point. The land throughout this whole area is dry, so dry. Most of the dams have very little water in them, if any, and the photo on the left shows you what the drive to Sheep Hills was like. The Silos were like a burst of colour in a barren landscape.

They were painted by Melbourne street artist Adnate and you can find out about him and his inspiration for this silo art here. Unfortunately the tourism factor was not enough to keep the local pub open and this wonderful old building is no longer pulling beers — or pulling crowds. Guido van Helten would have to be one of my favourite silo artists. As an aside, the tree I parked under nearly stole the show — magnificent!

The Rosebery Silos were painted by street artist Kaff-eine. In her work shirt, jeans and turned-down cowboy boots, the strong young female sheep farmer symbolises the future. The silo on the right portrays a quiet moment between dear friends. The c onte mporary horseman appears in Akubra hat, Bogs boots and oilskin vest — common attire for Mallee farmers. Both man and horse are relaxed and facing downward, indicating their mutual trust, love and genuine connection. Love these silos! The couple are painted on the end wall of each silo and you can read about the artist, Rone, and his vision for these silos here.

The bonus was it was next door to the pub so I wandered in for dinner, met some fellow travellers, and feasted on a good old pub parmy! Completed in late , the artist ……….. This whole Silo Art Trail is only about kilometres from whoa to go and could easily be done in a day but if you are carrying your home with you, as I do, why not slow down and spend a little more time exploring the surrounding areas.

January 6, by The Snail Trail 12 Comments. One option was a pretty straight line south — a total of about kms. The map shows my campsites and the times I stopped in caravan parks. I did a really good job shredding one as I was coming into a little town called Banana of all places.

I did! It was no hardship being at this camp ground, though, which had toilets, water and hot showers all for a donation to keep the facilities serviced.


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Moura has a mural on their water tower and as I left to head further west I came across the first cattle I saw on the long paddock. The drought situation only worsened! My first caravan park stay was at Rolleston to do the washing and also catch up with a travelling friend, Rosanna, who I had met at Boulia in Other stopovers were Emerald, Jericho, Barcaldine, to see the Tree Of Knowledge and then Longreach where I indulged myself with some touristy things which were the subject of an earlier blog called A Tourist in Longreach.

That is also the subject of an earlier blog — Yaraka the End of the Line? I had a wonderful week with Gerry pictured above and her husband Chris, who are the publicans at the Yaraka Hotel- and Chris does a fabulous trip up Mt Slocombe at sunset, which is not to be missed. Then —. A couple more lovely bush camps and it was time for the rally in Mudgee.

It was written as a reaction to the devastating drought throughout Queensland and New South Wales. Absolutely heart breaking scenes for mile upon mile of travelling. With the rally over I was off to my next house sit in Casino, looking after a little dog for a fellow Solo when she went overseas. I got more — and also less — than I bargained for!


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  • The rain came down in torrents for days, making it impossible to enjoy all those beautiful coastal towns along the way. It also backed up in the gutter around my pop top and seeped into every cupboard just like house gutters overflowing into the eaves and ceilings ….

    In Bed With Cows (Hilarious tales from a travelling stockman) In Bed With Cows (Hilarious tales from a travelling stockman)
    In Bed With Cows (Hilarious tales from a travelling stockman) In Bed With Cows (Hilarious tales from a travelling stockman)
    In Bed With Cows (Hilarious tales from a travelling stockman) In Bed With Cows (Hilarious tales from a travelling stockman)
    In Bed With Cows (Hilarious tales from a travelling stockman) In Bed With Cows (Hilarious tales from a travelling stockman)
    In Bed With Cows (Hilarious tales from a travelling stockman) In Bed With Cows (Hilarious tales from a travelling stockman)
    In Bed With Cows (Hilarious tales from a travelling stockman) In Bed With Cows (Hilarious tales from a travelling stockman)

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